Weathering the waves of sadness — and building a new life without your mate — may pose the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced. Your partner would want you to be happy again, so banish the notion that you are somehow “betraying” him or her by seeing someone new.
One day, however — trust me on this — the will to live fully again, and even experience companionship, will arise. It’s hard to throw yourself back in the dating game after 30, 40 years or more. I tell those I counsel to look at it this way: Cherish your old relationship, but don’t let it sabotage your prospects of forging a new one. More than merely a widow or widower, you are a person with opinions, hobbies, preferences, accomplishments, social values, political views and a unique way of looking at the world.
Discovering a guy you like doesn’t like you back is crushing.
Conversely, discovering a guy you like likes you back and wants to be with you and wants a serious relationship with you is exhilarating and quite possibly one of the most amazing feelings in the world.
Or maybe a partner’s allergies compelled you to live without pets and now you’re ready to romp with a fellow dog lover. Factors that loomed large in the past—good looks, financial success, whatever—may pale in the present as you acknowledge the importance of a partner who is kind and supportive, or one who is funny and entertaining. If you’ve become a bit, er, casual in the weight, wardrobe or grooming departments, now’s the time to ratchet up your game. So actively encourage them to think of you as a single, eligible person.
In short, grant yourself the freedom to gravitate to a whole new kind of person. Visit a salon or barbershop and ask how you could best update your hairstyle. Everyone’s circle of close friends is necessarily limited, however, so mention your quest even to those you don’t know well.
It’s a scary concept because if you’re impatient you could lose a guy who might be “the one,” but if you’re too patient you could lose years of your life with someone who might be everything you’ve ever wanted, but he doesn’t want you back.If he’s showing several of the following signs, he may settle down one day, but it probably won’t be with you.[Click here to keep reading…] Marriage is a big deal, it is the ultimate commitment, and not everyone wants to get married.MORE: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit No one wants to waste their time on a dead end.No one wants to spend years upon years with someone who just isn’t–and maybe was never– on the same page.